22 Inspiring Billy Crystal Quotes (Free List)

Billy Crystal quotes are thought-provoking, memorable and inspiring. From views on society and politics to thoughts on love and life, Billy Crystal has a lot to say. In this list we present the 22 best Billy Crystal quotes, in no particular order. Let yourself get inspired!

(And check out our page with Billy Crystal quotes per category if you only want to read quotes from a certain category, such as funny, life, love, politics, and more).

Billy Crystal quotes

That’s the thing about jazz: it’s free flowing, it comes from your soul.

— Billy Crystal

Two thousand years ago Jesus is crucified, three days later he walks out of a cave and they celebrate with chocolate bunnies and marshmallow Peeps and beautifully decorated eggs. I guess these were things Jesus loved as a child.

— Billy Crystal, Still Foolin’ ‘Em: Where I’ve Been, Where I’m Going, and Where the Hell Are My Keys

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

— Billy Crystal

Kids need a happy household. They need to be loved and supported in their dreams. And I don’t think you can make your kids’ dreams your own. They need you to support them in their dreams.

— Billy Crystal

What passes for sports coverage is terribly sycophantic.

— Billy Crystal

I was a per diem floater in the same junior high school I went to. I sat in the office and made $42.50 a day, and whenever a teacher was absent, I’d substitute. I taught everything from English to auto shop.

— Billy Crystal

My older brother Joel became an art teacher my brother Rip ultimately became a television producer and singer and actor himself.

— Billy Crystal

To this day, with all of these muscle-bound guys, nobody hit the ball further than Mickey Mantle, with his natural strength.

— Billy Crystal

Humans love sex, we need sex, it’s how we connect, it reminds us we’re alive, it’s the third most basic human need, after food and good movie popcorn.

— Billy Crystal

I can always say I led off for the New York Yankees. It’s an amazing feeling.

— Billy Crystal

I’m proud that I have done so many different kinds of things and maintained an amazing family. And I think that’s the joy: that I’ve been able to have everything.

— Billy Crystal

When you’re the host of the Academy Awards, and you grew up watching Bob Hope and Johnny Carson, and now it’s your turn, and you get a chance to run with the baton on the relay for a while, I really embraced it and just really loved being there.

— Billy Crystal

Muhammad Ali struck us in the middle of America’s darkest night, in the heart of its most threatening gathering storm. His power toppled the mightiest of foes, and his intense light shined on America, and we were able to see clearly injustice, inequality, poverty, pride, self realization, courage, laughter, love, joy and religious freedom for all.

— Billy Crystal

My mum, Helen, was hilarious. She had a tremendous sense of humour and was a great singer and tap dancer. For many years, she was the voice of Minnie Mouse in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. She would be in the float as it came along, singing whatever the Minnie Mouse song of the day was. She was a really big spirit in my life.

— Billy Crystal

I never missed a birthday. I never missed a school play. We carpooled. And the greatest compliment I can ever get is not about my career or performance or anything; it’s when people say, ‘You know, your girls are great.’ That’s the real thing for me.

— Billy Crystal

I can’t be funny if my feet don’t feel right.

— Billy Crystal

Mom was so funny and loving to us kids. She was our first audience. When my dad died, I was suddenly alone in the house with her because my two older brothers were away at college. I was the man of the house, and she was the grieving woman.

— Billy Crystal

I was raised mostly by my mom.

— Billy Crystal

My parents always looked like they loved being together. That’s what I took from them, and that’s how my wife and I are. I still feel like we’re dating.

— Billy Crystal

Ali forced us to take a look at ourselves. This brash young man who thrilled us, angered us, confused and challenged us, ultimately became a silent messenger of peace who taught us that life is best when you build bridges between people, not walls.

— Billy Crystal

I still don’t love the darkness, though I’ve learned to smile in it a little bit, now and then.

— Billy Crystal

To me, little Mike Wazowski is one of the best characters I ever got to play because he was funny. He was outrageous. He got angry. He was romantic. He was a full, well-rounded character.

— Billy Crystal

Change is such hard work.

— Billy Crystal