7 Quotes about God by Douglas Adams (Free list)

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Douglas Adams quotes about god

Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mind-bogglingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as the final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God.The argument goes something like this: “I refuse to prove that I exist, ‘” says God, “for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing.””But, ” says Man, “The Babel fish is a dead giveaway, isn’t it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don’t. QED.””Oh dear, ” says God, “I hadn’t thought of that, ” and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.”Oh, that was easy, ” says Man, and for an encore goes on to prove that black is white and gets himself killed on the next zebra crossing.

— Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy


God’s Final Message to His Creation:’We apologize for the inconvenience.

— Douglas Adams, So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish


Your God person puts an apple tree in the middle of a garden and says, do what you like, guys, oh, but don’t eat the apple. Surprise surprise, they eat it and he leaps out from behind a bush shouting “Gotcha”. It wouldn’t have made any difference if they hadn’t eaten it.”Why not?”Because if you’re dealing with somebody who has the sort of mentality which likes leaving hats on the pavement with bricks under them you know perfectly well they won’t give up. They’ll get you in the end.

— Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe


But for a moment Dirk had a sense of inifinite loss and sadness that somewhere among the frenzy of information noise that daily rattled the lives of men he thought he might have heard a few notes that denoted the movements of gods.

— Douglas Adams, The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul


Such music”, he said. “I’m not religious, but if I were I would say it was like a glimpse into the mind of God. Perhaps it was and i ought to be religious. I have to keep reminding myself that they didn’t create the music, they only created the instrument which could read the score. And the score was life itself. And it’s all up there”.

— Douglas Adams


I certainly don’t like the idea of missionaries. In fact, the whole business fills me with fear and alarm. I don’t believe in God, or at least not in the one we’ve invented for ourselves in England to fulfill our peculiarly English needs, and certainly not in the ones they’ve invented in America, who supply their servants with toupees, television stations, and, most important, toll-free telephone numbers. I wish that people who did believe in such things would keep them to themselves and not export them to the developing world.

— Douglas Adams, Last Chance to See


But she was finding it increasingly easy to believe that God, if there was a God, and if it was remotely possible that any godlike being who could order the disposition of particles at the creation of the Universe would also be interested in directing traffic on the M4, did not want her to fly to Norway either.

— Douglas Adams


The insurance companies involved had all claimed that this was, by any reasonable standards, an act of God. But, Dirk had argued, which god? Britain was constitutionally a Christian monotheistic state, and therefore any “act of God” defined in a legal document must refer to the Anglican chap in the stained glass and not to some polytheistic thug from Norway.

— Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt