21 Inspiring Jay Leno Quotes (Free List)

Jay Leno quotes are thought-provoking, memorable and inspiring. From views on society and politics to thoughts on love and life, Jay Leno has a lot to say. In this list we present the 21 best Jay Leno quotes, in no particular order. Let yourself get inspired!

(And check out our page with Jay Leno quotes per category if you only want to read quotes from a certain category, such as funny, life, love, politics, and more).

Jay Leno quotes

With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from oneend to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terroristattacks, “Are we sure this is a good time to take God out ofthe Pledge of Allegiance?

— Jay Leno


The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn’t for any religious reasons. They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.

— Jay Leno


New Year’s Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive.

— Jay Leno


CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she’s strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.

— Jay Leno


The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow ‘Operation Re-elect Bush’ doesn’t seem to be popular.

— Jay Leno


Politics is just show business for ugly people.

— Jay Leno


Bob Dole revealed he is one of the test subjects for Viagra. He said on Larry King, ‘I wish I had bought stock in it.’ Only a Republican would think the best part of Viagra is the fact that you could make money off of it.

— Jay Leno


I was reading in the paper today that Congress wants to replace the dollar bill with a coin. They’ve already done it. It’s called a nickel.

— Jay Leno


My wife loves Europe but to me it’s a bad day at a theme park.

— Jay Leno


L.A.’s large convenience stores are so big they can accommodate up to twenty armed robbers at one time.

— Jay Leno


They say hot dogs can kill you. How do you know it’s not the bun?

— Jay Leno


You could do anything in your room at college. You could smoke pot live in a coed dorm have a girl. But you couldn’t have a . . . hot plate!

— Jay Leno


Let me give you an idea how long ago they got married. You know where they met? . . . At a Cubs World Series game.

— Jay Leno


You know who must be very secure in their masculinity? Male ladybugs.

— Jay Leno


As a politician he does everything to keep out of trouble often by not asking questions. However it does bother him that every time the doorbell rings his maid hides in the dryer.

— Jay Leno


Elections in L.A. are so different. Here you’ve got politicians with phony smiles making false promises to voters with fake boobs and bad toupees.

— Jay Leno


They keep talking about drafting a constitution for Iraq. Why don’t we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys. It’s worked for over 200 years, and Hell, we’re not using it anymore.

— Jay Leno


You’re not famous until my mother has heard of you.

— Jay Leno


Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution.

— Jay Leno


Today is Valentine’s Day – or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

— Jay Leno


Don’t forget Mother’s Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad’s Third Wife Day.

— Jay Leno


The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.

— Jay Leno